Archive | July 2011

Day Three- And Still Dog-Free

This morning I took Henry, my obese black cat, to the vet for his annual check up. Henry’s great, getting a little slow as he ages, but he doesn’t fill my yearning for a dog. While waiting for him to be called in, I noticed a young couple with an elderly black lab . Both the man and woman had tears in their eyes so it was obvious why they were there. Eventually they were called into the examination room. A  few minutes later the  humans emerged, crying, without their dog. I could relate because I put my old dog down about ten years ago. Same vet. It started my day on a sad note.

Henry was fine by the way, and the vet, still surely saddened by her last patient’s outcome didn’t even give me flack about Henry’s weight. Once I took my cat home, I hugged him hard, then rushed out to drown myself in puppies.

Ivy is visiting with her dad’s family for a week. Missing her, and with the heartbreaking events at the vet, I needed some puppy time.

I stopped by a local puppy store which specializes in mixed designer breeds-YorkiePoos, Morkies, Chi-Poos, and lots of others with Combo names I can’t remember. I walked in and the clerk said to put hand sanitizer on and go sit on the floor. I did and about a dozen puppies jumped all over me. It was intoxicating. This is the Canine adoption equivalent of Speed Dating I bet, not that I’ve tried that.  By the end of the meet and greet session I came dangerously close to bringing home the little Chi-Poo, who looked like a mix of Chocolate Lab, Dachshund and Poodle.

I refrained, reminding myself that this time I’d vowed to take it slow, and that anyone can be super charming for ten minutes. Also, since Ivy hasn’t had a say in my past relationships, I figured she needs to be there to help choose the next someone who will be in our life for the next 12-15 years.

Afterwards, I went to the town animal shelter, where it’s easier to walk away because most of the dogs there are older, or sick or have behavioral issues. There’s a stark contrast between the high-bred expensive puppies who know they’re young and cute and have the world by the tail, and the ones in the shelter, many of  whom were once those puppies, now discarded. They are sad, beaten down, a lot of them, by life.

 It was like the difference between talking to high school seniors who just know they’re going to set the world on fire,who have the “My Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades” attitude. Compared to people who have reached  middle age and are asking, “What happened to my life?” Maybe that’s the problem with my trying to date now, at 42. In my 20’s everyone had a lot more enthusiasm.  Now they’re just downtrodden. Not everyone, just the ones I seem to attract. Hence, the moratorium on human dates.

There was one dog I saw, an old Beagle. He’s been there a long time with his best Beagle friend. It could be his brother I’m not sure. They have to be adopted as a set. At my age, a lot of men have those same restrictions, be it with exes you have to deal with forever, or their parents, extended families…A lot of those men remain “unadopted” as well. And I feel badly for them but won’t take them home either.

I went home and ate a  Smart Ones Enchilada  for lunch and patted myself on the back for making it through another day without getting a dog, or a boyfriend, or eating copious amounts of chocolate. I did have one glass of Chocolate Wine (Chocovine) over a friend’s house and it was amazing! I highly recommend it if you like that sort of thing. As she said, “It’s like chocolate milk without the phlegmy stuff.”

Time for bed now after a busy day.

Enjoying my new life very much so far. Feeling renewed enthusiasm.

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Rebound Dogs and My New Life – Day Two

By Carly G.

Let me start by saying I’m not as overweight as I thought yesterday. Perspective is everything. I broke down and delved into “that part” of my closet where my bigger clothes reside. They’re not MUCH bigger, just a little. My MUCH bigger stuff I donated years ago. I also have my “Post Divorce” section. That holds the tiny outfits I could only wear for about 6 months till the shock wore off and I started eating real food again with reckless abandon.

So I put on a pair of the jeans from the right side of the closet because Friday is Jeans Day in my office, and I felt much better immediately. Also I didn’t get lines on my tummy. I decided to stick to my standard diet I always fall back on. I had a Dunkin Donuts Turkey Sausage Flatbread sandwich which was healthy but then a medium hot coffee with cream -not healthy. Oh well it all balances out. Smart Ones Mac and Cheese for lunch and chicken and diet Mac and Cheese for dinner. I’m somewhat of a cheese fiend which is always my downfall. Years ago I lost 60 pounds on the Atkins Diet eating nothing but cheese and meat but even contemplating that now makes me queasy. And yes, I KNOW it’s not about dieting it’s about changing your lifestyle but I need a jumpstart.

My daughter is excited about the idea of a dog. Today I checked some breeds online. The picture above is of my aunt and her TeaCup Yorkie. She had just had a bath. She’s tiny and Ivy loves her but a dog that small makes me nervous, like  I might roll over on her in my sleep and crush her. And yes, my dog will sleep with me. Dry, she’s cute, but wet she resembles Phyllis Diller and I have a hard time cuddling up to that.

Since I’ve made a bad habit of rushing into people relationships I’m going to make sure I take my time to find just the right dog. Tomorrow I’m going to the local animal shelter, just to look. Promise. I WILL NOT COME HOME WITH A DOG.

Wish me luck. Here’s to getting it right this time.

-Carly G.

Rebound Dogs and My New Life- Day One

Rebound Dogs and My New Life

Day One

By Carly G.

A pattern I’ve had since first my heart-wrenching breakup at 16 is to start dating again way too soon after swearing never to love again. And to eat too much. Today, that cycle stops. I’m 42 years old and have been slightly overweight all my life. And slightly overweight would be GREAT but I’m a bit more than that. I want to tie my shoes without hitting a shelf of what I can’t honestly still call my baby weight from my fifteen-year-old daughter (from my first failed marriage), Ivy.

I just had a break up (hard to say who started it but I ended it) and it’s too soon to write about it publicly less it SOUND! LIKE! AN! ATTACK! And honestly, I think I’m losing my passion for this idea of love. It’s starting to not even bother me. I’m becoming too efficient at breaking up with men who lie, change dramatically once we get serious, exhibit mental illness they hid at the onset…  I used to cling to unhealthy men and dysfunctional relationships for years, no matter what they did. Those blogs I’ll save for another day.  Now it’s more “been there, done that, here’s your hat, what’s your hurry.”

I run when I hear, “I can change; you’re overreacting” or one of my  all time favorites “If I’d told you that at the beginning you never would have dated me.” Nice.

So with this recent breakup which will hurt later once my anger dissipates—when I look back and remember all the good stuff and lament, over hot-from-the-oven brownies, what could have been if only if—that I might try a new tact. I’m going to get a Rebound Dog.

Forget the siren calls of Match.com and e-harmony (met the craziest guy ever with their guidance) with their free sign up weekends and their “just about everyone you know met on OUR site!” claims. I am going to stay away from dating until my sophomore is in college. At least that’s my plan.

I’m going to work hard at my fulfilling yet unremarkable day job, raise my daughter, get a dog who will love me unconditionally and will not go insane. And if he does, I can at least demand a refund. That is not the case, if you were wondering, with the dating sites. I tried. They e-laughed at me.

And I’m going to lose weight. Not to slim up for a man, or to look all snazzy in a slinky cocktail dress or even so I can shop in the regular woman section and not the “big girl” area. It’s for me.  And for Ivy because who can look up to a mother who has a muffin top at her waistband? And for my new dog.

So today is Day One of my new life. I hope you follow my quest to find a Rebound Dog, to lose weight, to find inner happiness.